So Broken, So Beautiful
by SushiSasha244
Summary: "Oh, quit it. You're making me cry...again..." Alec snapped with a half laugh, half sob. Magnus smiled sadly and pulled the beautiful, broken boy closer to him. Alec was his now. His to love and protect.
1. Chapter 1

**Sasha's A/N: 'Ello all! This is a sequel to my fic Loneliness, so you might want to read that first… otherwise I don't think it'll make too much sense. Me and the AMAZING write4evr have co-written it, so just be forewarned… updates. Will. SUCK XD We're pretty much the two worst updaters in the universe, so expect a while between updates. Otherwise… ENJOY! :D**

**Mack's A/N: *clears throat* HAI LIEBE-Z. ****(Liebe-z? Liebes? Liebe-s..?) ****Sasha wrote most of this, so, I dont have much to say EXCEPT, go look at Loneliness (if you havent already...and I know which of you has and haznt...o_O), and then check out-NEERMIND. Spoilers...spoilers...**

***clears throat again* Ekay, byez...As per usual, lahv yall :P 3**

**~Mack**

Magnus was still asleep when Alec woke up, but the raven-haired boy didn't mind. He was… oddly content, for some reason. Something from the medication they had given him, or an after-effect of… what he had done last night. He automatically shied away from the thought that popped into his mind after that… that maybe it was something else. Some_one_ else, to be exact… Alec instantly pushed the thought away. He was _not _getting attached to Magnus. Not at all. Just the thought of loving someone again scared him more than he wanted to admit...

Not that he _did _love Magnus or anything. No, Alec didn't _love..._he just didn't. He'd forced himself to stop loving a _long _time ago, and he wasn't going to let that all change _now. _

But...the way that Magnus had helped him, held him, listened to him...

What _if..._

"Morning Alec..."

_God_ his voice was entrancing! It reminded him of crystal or glass, delicate and clear and yet oddly comforting and… nope. Not going there. '_Okay, loopy hospital stuff, time to get the fuck out of my head!_'

Obviously, though, he didn't say that out loud. "Good morning…"

"So you're not a serial killer, I'm assuming, since I'm alive and all… ya know, I probably should've thought of that last night. Getting eaten by a random scary dude might throw a bit of a wrench in getting my degree…"

Despite himself, Alec laughed—wow, laughter. It was strange how much he'd taken it for granted back when it'd been a daily thing in his life; now he never laughed. _Never_.

"Doncha think _I_ should be the one asking _you_ that? You did kidnap me, after all… speaking of which, I should probably be getting home…"

"Nope, you shouldn't. I kidnapped you, remember? Therefore I get to choose when you get to go."

"Creeper!" Alec replied teasingly.

Magnus grinned and poked Alec's arm. "I am a complete creeper...you love it though."

Alec looked down at his hands and grinned. What was with all this grinning? Alec didn't grin...he smirked and glared and frowned, but he didn't grin.

And was he...flirting with Magnus?

That was another thing Alec didn't do. He didn't just flirt...he'd tease anyone without thinking twice about it, and hell, if that came off as flirting than that was fine with him, but...

He hadn't flirted just for the fun of it in a long time...or, well...he hadn't flirted for the innocent fun of it in a long time...

"So...Alec...not to put a downer on things, but...what exactly happened with you and Jace? You told me you don't talk to him anymore, but..." Magnus said, trailing off at the end, hoping he wouldn't make this beautifully unstable boy upset again.

Alec let out a deep breath, wanting to tell Magnus the whole story, but being afraid to do it. He had really messed up...what if Magnus started hating him...

But oddly, he already trusted Magnus. He, for some odd reason, trusted that Magnus would listen, and not just freak out over everything. Magnus was better than that.

Alec took a deep breath and started slowly, by saying,

"Well...it all started with a fight...things just...got out of hand..."

It was… hard for him to talk about Jace. Mainly because he'd loved Jace—both as a brother, and as more- and it was his fault that everything had fallen apart. His own stupid, stupid fault.

"Got out of hand how?" Magnus prompted gently. Alec began talking again, his mind on autopilot. He knew that if he let himself think, he'd fall apart again, so he chose something to focus on—the little cat's eye pendant Magnus wore around his neck. It twinkled like a real eye, the green stone seemingly endless—it was easy to get lost in.

"It was about a year after my parents, the accident, happened. He was in a bad place—his dad had come back looking for him, the one year anniversary of the crash was coming up, he and Clary- his girlfriend- were fighting. He came to me, looking for… a fight, sympathy, something. I still don't know what. I pretty much told him 'Good, now she can move on to someone who'll actually care about her.' "

Alec could see Magnus trying to catch his eye, but he didn't let him. He hadn't talked about the fight since it happened and how that he'd started, he wasn't going to stop. It was so easy to remember…

"_I DID care about her, Alec! You were just too fucking IN LOVE WITH ME to see it!"_

_Those words winded him more effectively than any blow could have. He stuttered out some kind of weak argument, but Jace just kept on talking, plowing right through him._

"_You know what? You should be ashamed. I thought that we were BROTHERS! We're supposed to trust each other! But YOU were too much of a coward to tell me because you were ASHAMED of who you are! You never once stopped to think that maybe I wouldn't care, that maybe… I felt the same say!" His eyes were flat discs of gold as he spat out the words… he was shutting down. Deleting all memory of feeling. For once, though, Alec didn't notice._

"_Don't look so fucking shocked, Alec! It's not like I ever hid it. You never ASKED. If you had, I would've told you… I never, ever hid it, Allie."_

"_DON'T. Call me Allie," Alec hissed through clenched teeth. It was a nickname that Jace had used when they were kids but as they'd gotten older, it'd faded away… until now, obviously._

_A sarcastic look of smiling confusion spread across Jace's face, making Alec want to hate him. "Oh? What do you want me to call you, dear brother of mine—love? Darling?"_

_Alec still didn't know what'd come over him as he uttered his next words, words he'd regret for a very long time: "To hell with you, Jace. I don't want you to call me anything. I want you to get away from me and STAY away, _brother_. I don't want your damn love… just stay away."_

"He took off later that day. I haven't talked to him since. When Isabelle, my sister found out, she was… pissed. She told me that he'd been waiting for me; he hadn't wanted to make me come out before I was ready, so he'd just waited for me…"

"Alec…" Magnus began hopelessly, "I'm… sorry."

"Why? You didn't do anything. It's always the people who did nothing who apologize! Why is that?"

Magnus had to stop and think on that for a moment, but when he answered he sounded oddly old and weary.

"It's because… because it's the ones who care who are around for the aftermath, I suppose. They're the ones who're around to say sorry for how everyone else screwed up."

Alec laughed sarcastically. That sounded like a good enough reason for it, but it still made him laugh, because usually, for him at least...there was never anyone around after he messed things up. He faced the aftermath by himself. And maybe that was his own fault. Maybe he didn't open up enough or something...

But now, there was someone here, saying they were sorry for something they played no part in. Someone that Alec had only known for a night was sitting here, listening to him complain, and telling him he was sorry.

Alec looked at Magnus curiously. Why was he bothering? Since when did anyone look out or care about anyone other than themselves?

"Yeah...I guess so," Alec replied simply, not wanting to say anything too doom and gloom in reply to that.

Magnus breathed a humorless laugh and caught Alec's eye as he said, "I know, I know, it sounds stupid and you don't believe it. But really Alec...I mean it. I'm here now to help you through this...I will not ever leave you like Jace did."

Alec looked down at his hands quickly as hot tears suddenly sprung into his eyes. Hearing things like that always made him upset, because, well...whenever they were said, they were usually lies; and while he knew it, he was also always so comforted by them anyway. It left him feeling desperately lost, but at the same time, happy. Just the fact that someone would take the time to feed him such...love-filled lies gave him hope...

"Psh...you know, I can never believe you when you say things like that. It's just...I've spent years telling myself, and having other people tell me, that I am not worth anything. I just have a hard time believing that anyone will ever actually stay with me..."

Magnus grabbed Alec's hand suddenly.

"Now, you listen to me Alec Lightwood. You are worth a lot. You are this amazing boy who came into my life in, honestly, the saddest of ways, and you've really caught my attention. Maybe it was because of the way that I found you, I don't know..I just know that I want to be able to help you. I want you to know that I am always going to be here waiting for you to pick yourself up and realize how very worth it you are. And I'm going to be here helping you do it, too, whether you want me here or not. I know I just met you, but...I think I already love you Alec. Like a friend, a brother... trust me. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon."

Shit, Alec thought as tears started falling rapidly from his dark blue eyes.

"Oh, quit it. You're making me cry...again..." Alec snapped with a half laugh, half sob.

Magnus smiled sadly and pulled the beautiful, broken boy closer to him.

Alec was his now. His to love and protect. His to pamper and take care of.

Magnus was determined to show Alec Lightwood just how very amazing he was, no matter what it took.

**A/N: Hey all, Sasha again… didja likey? And what Kenz said in her A/N… UNTRUE :p We both wrote equally! ANYWAYS… y'all BETTER go review! *hugz all of you***


	2. Chapter 2

**Sasha's A/N: Heyyyy! :D So yeah, it's been over a month—but hey, we DID warn you that updates would suck XD XD XD Anyways, y'all better be happy cause we've been on ooVoo for over 8 hours writing all this for you all!**

**Matti's A/N: Welp, hai! I'm pretty sure Sash wrost most of this too...**

**I TAKE NO CREDIT.**

**I totally forget what this whole chapter was about, and I just read it over. But it's 2:30 in the morning. I think I have an excuse...**

**Kay, shutting up now. Hope you enjoyed! XD**

**LAHV YEW!**

**~Matti**

"Urgh… I, for one, am STARVING," Magnus groaned, rolling out of the bed and looking around on the floor for something—presumably a shirt. Yes, Alec had been in bed with a very hot, very half-naked Magnus. Yes, he had just noticed. You can shut up, he had other things on his mind!

"Pancakes ok?" said hot guy asked. He had found a shirt and was now by his mirror, messing with his hair.

"No… I mean, yeah, but I'm sure you have stuff to do. You don't need to stay with me, I really should be heading home. I have a, uh, essay… due soon…" Alec stammered awkwardly.

"Oh, come on—I insist. I'll help you with the essay if you want."

Oh, great, now I have to act like there's actually an essay, Alec thought to himself.

This is what I get for lying...

"Psht, fine...make me pancakes. They'd better be good though, or I'm OUT." Alec said, pushing himself out of Magnus' bed and grinning at the tan, tall boy.

Magnus grinned down at Alec, though they weren't that far apart in height, and said,

"Oh, don't you worry Alec. I'm the best."

Alec blushed and tried not to read too far into that...

"Right, right, I'm sure," Alec said, grinning back at Magnus. What he didn't say, but he was thinking, was, 'So was Jace'.

Magnus watched as hurt flashed quickly across Alec's fragile features. Jeez...that poor thing had been screwed over by life so many times...

They had a long way to go. That was for sure.

"Alright, let's go before my cat eats the pancake mix. ADVENTURE IS OUT THERE!"

"...In your apartment?" Alec asked, stifling a laugh and looking happily up at the older boy.

"Yep! It's like...a jungle out there! It really is! So uh...watch your step and sorry for the mess..."

Alec laughed.

"Okay Mags..."

Mags. I like it...Magnus thought to himself, lips slowly turning up into a grin.

LoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLove

"You get that bloody stuff away from me!" Alec shrieked, dodging the pancake batter Magnus flung his way.

"Oh?" Magnus replied, raising one sexy, provocative eyebrow. He took a step towards Alec with a scary smile. "And what if I don't?"

Alec, hiding a grin himself, cast around for a weapon… and his gaze landed on a bottle of that squirt-y whipped cream stuff. He grabbed it and pointed it straight at Magnus's hair, carefully schooling his features into a deadly serious expression. "Drop the batter or the hair DIES!"

Magnus froze, his eyes wide. "You wouldn't…"

Upon seeing Alec's mischievous grin, though, he carefully stepped away from the pancake batter… and then was attacked by whipped cream. "You traitor!" he laughed, spinning back around to grab the bag of pancake mix still sitting on the counter. A second later, Alec looked like a ghost ,all covered in flour and whatever else is in pancake mix.

Alec shrieked again, shaking his head hysterically trying to get the mix off while enveloped in a cloud of it. Magnus quickly took advantage of that, sneaking around behind Alec… and tackling him to the ground. "Argh! Get off me, you crazy rainbow elephant!"

While said elephant was distracted by the remark, Alec quickly reached up to the counter where the eggs had been sitting, and muffled a cry as sharp pain shot through his arm.

"Alec?" Magnus asked, the playfulness gone.

"I'm fine… it was just my arm."

"Does it hurt? Let me see…"

"Magnus, honestly! I'm fine!"

"Mm-hm, okay. You're fine. Now let me see."

He exasperatedly held out his arm for inspection. It really didn't hurt all that bad, just stung… it was more shock than anything. He'd nearly forgotten about the previous night.

"You're bleeding again," Magnus informed him with a frown. "I think I have some bandages… come on, you should sit down."

"Mags…" Alec replied, trying not to sound annoyed, "I am sitting down,"

Magnus, however, just rolled his eyes and led Alec to the living room. Somewhere along the way he found the bandages, and he made Alec give him his arm. It did look pretty bad, Alec had to admit—blood trickling down his arm, nowhere near as much as the night before, but still a pretty frightening.

"Why don't yours look this bad?" Alec asked as Magnus dabbed antiseptic on the cuts, partly out of curiosity and partly to distract himself.

"Because you did it—" Magnus broke off with a frown, then quickly began speaking again. "Because mine are older. They've had time to heal; your's haven't yet."

Magnus watched his reaction, and sent up a little shout of thanks to whoever was up there listening when Alec ignored his mistake. Before he'd caught himself, he'd been about to say something dangerous—he'd been about to tell Alec that he'd done it wrong.

Magnus had never, ever seen cuts that deep or close to the vein before unless someone had been trying to… kill themselves. Alec wouldn't do that; he'd made that very obvious last night. He hadn't wanted to die. Just to escape. Alec didn't need to know that, though; it was better that he thought it was always this bad. Maybe that would keep him from trying anything again.

**A/N: Yep, Sasha it is… so you know how I said that me and Matt have been on ooVoo for 8 hours? Well we have the next 4 or 5 chapters planned out and we're working on writing them—we'll try to have it up soon! :D Love you all 3**


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